he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
