well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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