I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
