Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
