I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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