If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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