so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
