After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
