i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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