This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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