Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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