i can't believe i had my finger in that
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
