I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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