How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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