your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
