Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
