he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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