I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
