I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sext me about skeletons
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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