Betty ford says i'm here all night
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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