your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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