it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
