I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
