You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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