So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
