Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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