...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
