I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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