i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
