Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
