i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
