do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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