Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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