"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
zippers are such a cool invention
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
