why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
