you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
