The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
