I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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