Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
