I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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