it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
