No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
