Umm I'm too high to move.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
