I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
