do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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