Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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