My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
