two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
