I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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