i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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